Talk to my Grave
by AshiatoBlue
Summary: It starts with talking to a grave... and a really horrifying speculation. This is a story full of mysteries and adventures [really?] set 13 years after their Heroic days, they begin their journey to...! Just read it with an open mind. Not a SasuSaku
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the idea of such a stupid direction this story has to go.

**Summary:** It starts with talking to a grave... and a really horrible speculation. Sets 13 years after Naruto Sasuke and Sakura genin teams and 12 years after Sasuke left and came back and so on. Well, a lot of things happened in between but we don't really want to spoil this story anymore. So please read!

**Prologue (Unbeta-ed)**

Cool breeze blew persistently over sun-kissed blond, threatening them out of their neatly combed style beneath the hitai-ate. Its owner oblivious to their perilous state, continued to stare at the carved stone with a wistful expression.

He sighed, "It's been a while huh, bastard," words were almost a whisper.

He was leaning against the big oak tree near by, brown leaves already decorating its cover. In fact, the whole area seemed slightly brownish, a sign that autumn was threatening to knock on the doors of Konoha.

"Could have been a better meeting of old rivals and sorts but you just had to leave again, didn't you?" he choked, his voice sounded like something wavering between crying and laughter.

"Did you know that sometimes, more than anything else in the world, what we should cherish the most is our lives? But you wouldn't know, would you? Lying beneath this six feet pile of shit..." Eyelids closed on blue pupil as he paused to take a deep breath. "Bet you would still treasure your pride more than anything else even if you came back."

"You know what made Orochimaru strong? It's definitely not his aim to take over the world or anything stupid like that, it's his will to live, you idiot. Never thought the tables would turn on you, heh? Me calling you idiot, you must be having fits in your skeleton or whatever that's left of your corpse." He strolled towards the stone.

"Pride..." He snorted, "What stupid pride it was..."

"Just like on your dying breath, you were still refusing to acknowledge the fact that i am the better ninja that you will never be. Or that you were really sorry for bringing such pain to Sakura and me. Haha," he clutched his tummy with both hands as though stifling his laughter. "Pity you have never known such undying loyalty in your face, bastard."

The urge to laugh subsided. He took another deep breath and left the site. Some group of kids were waiting for him.

"Sensei! You're late!" A red eye spunky little girl called out to him. She puffed and dropped down to sit on the ground she was standing on moments before.

"Ahaha, Sorry, sorry, you see, I was on my way here when an beautiful lady almost fell down the stairs, I broke her fall and to thank me, she insisted on giving me a treat at Ichiraku. I mean, who can resist that offer?" He grinned sheepishly, his left hand scratching the back of his head.

"Liar!" The other two little genin pointed fingers at him. One was a boy with black hair and green eyes, the other was another girl with clear blue eyes, almost like his and reddish brown hair that was cropped really short. His stomach chose to growl at this moment, exposing his lies to the skies.

"Hahaha, nothing escapes your eyes, I guessed." He grinned even more and bend down, moving closer to the kids, "Say, since there will be no mission or training today as I have decided of now, how about we four head down to Ichiraku to fulfill that earlier fantasy of mine?"

"Again?!" The red eye girl with dark brown hair jumped up from her sitting position. Her hair swinging violently behind her in her ponytail as she ran towards her Sensei. She paused right in front of him and demanded, "I want sushi!"

Shikamaru had personally warned him in the least amount of words possible, not teach any pervert things he learned from the hentai Sannin to the dearest daughter of Kurenai and the previous Asuma Sarutobi, else... well, he would not even try to get there.

"It's the 100,000th over times we have been to Ichiraku with you Uzumaki-sensei!" the short hair girl cried, stomping on foot down on the ground. He could almost understand her anger (and her miscalculation - 100,000th times?!), whose parents in the right mind would cut such short hair for their daughters when they are barely over 12 years old! He almost pitied her as he thought back about how Ino and Sakura treasured their long hair so much in the past.

Talking about Sakura, he turned to look at the only male genin in his team. His strength had definitely been taken after his mother, Sakura. And it was the Sakura, after her three years training with Tsunade-baachan. Pretty scary if you consider his age. He was only 8 years old, the youngest genin of his batch to pass the genin test. His character however, he found it a bit hard to pinpoint who had he taken after, he was nothing like the youth-enthusiastic father of a green bouncing bunny who could never hold his liquour, neither was he like the multiface Sakura who could go from very sweet woman to a burning volcano on the verge of explosion.

"Yeah, no more ramen again," the boy agreed, he huffed and crossed his arms, turning his head up to eye his Sensei fearlessly.

If he had to say whose character he had taken after, his young and brooding manner, almost resenting everything and liking nothing did remind him of a certain... black haired avenger...

No way! What was he thinking! Sakura would never in a million years cheat on her husband!

But this was now and then was then. Afterall, Sakura did loved him very much ten years ago. No! Urgh! The mental images almost tortured him to death about his two previous teammates...cop.. copu...copulating back then, or anytime in his lifetime. And then his mind was flooded with the images of Lee's crying face, an equally sad Sakura, a broken family and a boy with no wish to either follow his mom or dad... Sakura would never do anything like that!

"Well?" the dark hair boy tapped his left foot impatiently.

He shook himself out of his reverie.

"Alright, alright!" Naruto smiled at the three little brats, "I give. Listen up Sarutobi Maki! Asakura Mai! Takuma Lee! Let's go for sushi at Nishigawa!"

He mentally whacked himself on his head. What was he thinking about. Ahahahahaha.

"Hmph." Takuma snorted and turned his head to lead the way.

It wasn't possible... right?

**AN: **So, what do you think? D


	2. Chapter 1: Scare me twice, won't you?

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything but the idea of such a stupid direction this story has to go.

**Summary: **Contrary to what the main summary says, the central character of this silly story is Naruto. Set 13 years after their Genin days and filled with lots of stupidity and believe it or not, philosophy of life too.

**Chapter 1 (Unbeta-ed) : Scare me twice, won't you?**

Naruto was on the verge of a mental breakdown, as weeks progresed, he found more and more similarity between the young Lee and a certain black hair avenger. Of course, he could ask the person herself but he did not have a dying wish. No one, he repeat, no one would ever ask a question like this to Sakura and expect to survive the aftermath of her wrath.

"Arghh!!! I can't take it anymore!!" He screamed, his hands fisted in his own hair.

"Can't take what, Naruto-kun?" a voice asked.

"Ahhh!!!!" he screamed like a girl and jumped almost ten feet away from the source, "Sa..Sakura-chan!"

"You know, it's not really healthy to keep talking to yourself." She reprimanded him gently, "First you keep going back to the graves to talk and now, you are chatting to the air, can't be good for anyone's health"

Naruto thought his heart had almost leaped out of his body. Sakura grabbed Naruto by his arm, dragging him to the nearest public benches in the streets. She was unaware of the unnatural whiteness that had taken over his usually tanned face as she beamed at him.

"We haven't met for quite a while, have we? I can't believe out of the 3 of us, you will be the first one to leave the team. And it was for the position of teacher at the Genin Academy."

Keeping his heartbeat in check, he spoke, "Well, it is good experience, guiding the next generation, learning about them, the village and more. You know, to be the next Hokage and all that. They had an opening and I went for it."

"If you're the Naruto i knew 13 years back, you would never say a thing about experiences," she chuckled, "You would most likely get peeved at being given anything less exciting than a A rank mission back then. But you have been a teacher for 1 year already, haven't you? Naruto-sensei!" she teased.

"Yep! And a good one at that too!"

"So i heard," Her eyebrow raised unconvincingly, "Seems like you bend on carrying some bad habits of Kakashi-sensei." A sheepish scratch on his head, "But it's not that bad since I believe you never liked the Icha-icha series. So... What's the thing you can't take again?"

"Nothing, nothing I can't take, Sakura-chan. Forgotten who you're talking to? Ahahaha." His heartbeat accelerated, his face turned paler by a shade too.

"By any chance, is my boy giving you any problem?" She eyed at him sharply.

"What?! How can that be possible! He's a good kid, with lots of potential, just that his character is a bit like Sasu...! I mean Saku.. no! No! Like Saitama-san!" he stuttered, hands frantically hovering about the air like a madman.

"Oh really."

He frozed.

"Who's Saitama anyway?"

"Did i say that?" Naruto laughed, albeit forcefully, "I mean, he just needs a little bit more consideration for his teammates, trust them and rely on them. He's a bit of a loner."

He could be more like Rock Lee.

"Yeah," she sighed, "Kinda taken after the wrong guy didn't he?"

And Naruto's jaw promptly fell onto the ground. _It can't be!_

"Well, I have some grocery shopping to do, Rock Lee will be home today after his 4 days mission." She waved a very still Naruto a cheery goodbye.

_It could not have been!_ His breathing resumed to normal when he saw Sakura's back fading down into the streets.

Bad thoughts aside, it was time to talk to the graves like what Sakura said. He mentally cheered.

"Bastard, stay dead, won't you."

This time, he opted for a big rock to sit on by the carved stone.

"I couldn't believed i actually thought you and... Saku.. and...Argh! I cannot bring myself to say it!"

"Dobe."

"Ahhhhhh!!!!" He fell off the rock he was sitting on. At least he did not shriek like a girl this time.

Picking himself off the ground, he dusted his pants and glared at the owner of the voice. "What are you doing here!"

"Felt an evil aura cursing for someone's death around here so I thought I might check it out." the owner smirked at a flustered Naruto.

"Who's cursing for anyone's death around here? Hahahaha, nice joke." He tried to forced out a chuckle but ended up choking on his own saliva.

"Oh really? _Dobe._" He stressed on the last word.

"Who's the -cough- do -cough- be?! You -cough- teme!" he thumped on his own chest, desperately trying to squash his coughing fit.

He got a very satisfied smile in return. And the coughing fit stopped.

"Gods, of all thing you picked up from the bastard, this stupid nickname has to get stuck." he slapped his forehead as he grumbled, "What are you? 5? Calling names at such an old age."

"Hmm... Did i do wrong again?" A puzzled face (or rather, an expressionless one, if you forget to squint) overtook the smug one.

"_Sai_, for the last time, nicknames among 'old friends' are meant to be teasing, not insulting." Naruto rolled his eyes and started to walk towards Ichiraku, his stomach was already beginning to hint at something.

Sai followed suit, carrying his trademark smile (which is really kind of expressionless, if you forget to squint again).

**AN:** Did you really think that it could be Sa...Sa... Sasuke? Lol.


	3. Chapter 2: Evil spirits can't stay dead

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything but the idea of such a stupid direction this story has to go.

**Summary:** This is a story full of mysteries and adventures. Set 13 years after their Heroic days, they begin their journey to...! -dead-

**Chapter 2 (Unbeta-ed): Evil spirits can't stay dead**

"So when did you get back?" Naruto asked as he gobbled down his third bowl of ramen.

"Just." Sai answered, not wanting to elaborate, concentrating much on his second bowl and refusing to be one bowl behind Naruto.

"Hmm...Does that mean?" Naruto saw no need to complete that question.

"Yes, he asked me to send you something." Sai paused in his eating, one hand reaching in his pocket to draw out a white piece of envelope.

Naruto who had also paused in his eating, drew in a deep breath and took the envelope from Sai's hand.

"It better not be what i think it is." he prayed.

"Um-hmm..." A Sai who returned to his bowl mumbled.

Naruto made a face and cringed at the thought of what might be in that fatal piece of paper.

_Naruto - Do that once more where i can see or hear you and you can say goodbye to your future granchildren you never had._

He almost dropped dead into his bowl of ramen. All his appetite was gone instantly.

Sai slurped his second bowl clean and called out to the Ichiraku boss, "Another bowl of miso ramen please!" Apparently, he was going to win this time round, he thought cheerfully.

"Any idea when will be your next mission?" Naruto asked, as they walked home from Ichiraku. Sai had ate 5 bowls of ramen and Naruto stopped at 2 and a half. Thus, Naruto ended up paying for both their bills. This was their tradition all along although Naruto could never recall what had started it.

"Only about 2 weeks later," Sai smiled brightly at the _reason_ for his free meal. Naruto visibly paled. Maybe, he really should avoid the grave grounds these 2 weeks.

"Ahhh!!! It's a ghost!" Maki exclaimed and proceed to make a grand show of fainting on the ground.

"Ha. Ha. Very funny." Naruto growled. He felt deprived. Horribly deprived.

"Ghost in broad daylight?! It's not possible!" Mai took over with a very fake look of shock on her face. Naruto glared at her.

"You're early." Takuma stated the obvious and the other two girls jumped up and glared at him for breaking the fun.

"Alright! We are not picking up missions now because i am not in the mood to babysit you three." Groans and mumbles of complaints followed. "But, we are going to learn something today."

Three pair of ears perked up.

"It's an exercise my sensei used to teach us and it took us quite a bit of time to learn. So i don't think you guys would suceed anytime soon since we were geniuses and all, thus, I will give you about this week to practise among ourselves and a test by the end of the week to monitor your progress!"

"So what are you gonna teach us huh, Uzumaki-Sensei!" The short girl bubbled excitedly beside him only to find out he was not so beside her anymore.

Actually, he was standing at a position perpendicular to the position they stood.

"This," He walked higher up the tall tree with great ease, "is what you guys will be able to do after this week." He grinned.

He sat by the clearings after instructing them on what to do to watch over their initial practice. But his thoughts were miles away from the practising brats.

Internally, he was fighting the urge to go to the grave to talk anyway, however the threat he received by an innocent looking envelope this morning shook him. Naruto knew that he was a man who meant what he said, ALL THE TIME. Deeply saddened by the thoughts that he could not go to the grave to talk to the dead any longer, he sighed. At least not these 2 weeks. 2 whole weeks! (It's more than saddening! It's feeling deprived! DEPRIVED, i tell you!) He could die of the frustration.

"Sensei! Not fair! Takuma could walk up half the length of the tree already!" Mai called out to him.

"Duh, of course! He's so much like Sa...!" He fell off the rock.

"Sensei!" Maki shouted, "You alright?!"

In his position behind the rock (that fallen down position where his ass was kinda high up in the air with the side of his face kissing the ground affectionately), he felt vaguely ill. It was that horrifying thought that was tickling at the edge of his conciousness, huanting him. No. It could not be true, No. He will NEVER ask. No. He will keep this secret to his grave. No. Just never. It is just not possible!

Slowly, he turned his head towards Takuma, only to be strucked, again, by the fact that not only he was just as outstanding as that bastard, he was certainly as smug as him too, if that smirk on his face was any indication. And the fact that he was far better looking than that supposedly father of his. (Of course that could be due to the fact that Naruto had always found Sakura pretty and he could have taken after her but he knows that it was only because he liked her and that it clouded his vision of her and thus it could affect his objectivity when it comes to her son but then again he had gotten over his crush so it should not affect his judgement not that he was clouded by his vision of her meant she was not pretty she was pretty but not so much that pretty than when he was having his crush on her and therefore it could only mean one thing and that was the one thing that he never wanted to think about but it just struck him one day and would not go away since he was not going anywhere anytime soon anyway and that he blurted it out in a moment of distraction mean subconciously just subconsciously he was very convinced in his conviction that he was...O. M. G...!)

Nooooooooooooo... ... ... ...

A few minutes later.

"Erm, so why did Sensei run away?" Maki asked puzzledly. Mai and Takuma shared a _look_ and shrugged nonchalantly.

Then the three returned to what they were doing before like their sensei had never ran away. It was practice time anyway, and they sure ain't about to lose to one another.

**AN:** That internal monologue of Naruto was meant to be neverending. But you know how life never goes your way...


	4. Chapter 3: Let me say goodbye to my

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything but the idea of such a stupid direction this story has to go.

**Summary: **Expect not the unexpected because unexpected is not to be expected. Geddit? Anyway, this story is... you know, it's just a story, so now, let's get on with it.

**Chapter 3 (Unbeta-ed): Let me say goodbye to my future grandchildren**

Since that day Naruto ran away from his Genin teams, someone had been searching for him with killing intent. After his team, formed 4 years ago, consisting of him, Sai, Tenten and Kiba returned from their Anbu mission, he had been stuck in the Hokage's office, giving a detailed report of what had went on in their one month long mission.

Since he knew he would not be out anytime soon, being a genius and all, he passed Sai a note to pass to Naruto who would most definitely be in the one place he hated to be in. Sai smiled, you know, in that eerie way of his, and said he would love to pass that note to Naruto (Actually, he had been suspecting Sai of being an accomplice of Naruto for quite some time, being ex-teammates and all.) which made him glared even harder at Sai if that was possible.

For someone who needed books to teach him how to interact with people, Sai was surprisingly an expert when it comes to pushing the wrong buttons of people. Whether he had did it delibrately or not, it was up to speculation.

On the other hand, the deliberation of Naruto picking up Kakashi's stupid habits was debatable too.

Either way, he was seething in anger by the end of the post-mission debriefing, hoping to catch that blond mop of mischief before the day ends, so that he could wrench that bloody mop of hair off his head, of course, the head was to be fully ripped off the body after that his limps one by one and so on... Images of extreme violence flooded his mind which further description was probably censored in this story due to ratings. Shivers ran through his body as laughter threaten to burst out from his usually cool visage anytime soon. If anything, he was good at holding it all in, thus he never did break out in the maniactic. It was proven and shown in the past, and it certainly had yet to change now.

On the other side of town, Naruto sneezed. Several times, simultaneously. After the 723,9712th time (Honestly? It was only the 14th time - You've got to wonder where Mai got her bad counting skills from, don't you?), he wondered if he had gotten a cold. There was a first time for anything, right? So he went to a pharmacy to get some cold meds, planning to go straight home after that. But there was a long queue at the pharmacy, it being the hayfever season and so on, so he was stuck there for several hours, queing for a small pack of cold meds.

Now, the person looking for Naruto would never had thought to look for him in a pharmacy because the Naruto he knew hardly ever gets sick. So, he never did find Naruto by the end of the day. If his mood could get any darker, dark clouds were already gathering over his head for the party of their lifetime.

Cursing at his bad luck the next day, he turned to the very place where he warned Naruto very clearly - in black and white, literally - to not to go to.

And apparently, he found out that Dobes never do what was of the best interest for them.

"Hey bastard, I am back again. Guess what? I am thinking that there's a high possibility of... you know? Well, er.. Sa..and..Sa... and.. ARGH!!! I still can't bring myself to say but! You know what I mean!" Naruto nearly burst into tears by the big oak tree. He held in face in both his hands.

"Poor Lee kept in the dark for so long." he sniffed, "Taking good care of your son for you."

He paced back and forth from the rock to the oak tree.

"Bet you never thought Sakura would do that for you huh?" Some sobbing and sniffles, "You are such a selfish bastard. How could you do that to them!"

_That nerve of a Dobe!_ The shadow behind another oak tree radiated enough heat to burn up the whole tree, roots included.

"And now I am down with a cold and unable to teach my lovely Team. It's all your fault, bastard!" He kick the dirt on the ground. "Can't stay dead, can you?"

That was it. One could only take so much verbal abuse before he charged into a blurry haze of blue and black towards that blond mop of an idiot.

"ARGH!!! You really can't stay dead! Nooooo!! You evil spirit! You turned into an evil ghost to kill me, didn't you!" Naruto struggled from the death grip on his neck, effectively pining him to the big oak tree.

"Say. That. Again." The voice dared.

"All right. I give. I was just kidding man, let go." And was promptly dropped onto the ground.

"Ahhh!! Ghost!!!" Naruto took the chance to run.

"That bastard!" The assualter punched the big oak tree hard enough to leave a permenant dent.

Bent over with one hand on the doorknob of his apartment, the other hand supporting his upper body on his knees, he breathed deeply several times to catch his breath.

"You." he frozed and bend up straight as though he was a stiff robot. Sounds of unoiled hinges could be heard as his head was mechanically turned in slow jerks to face the perpetrator (in his point of view).

"Sa...Sasuke. You are back!" He grinned awkwardly, trying to pretend he had just left his house instead of the other way round. In his mind, somewhere deep, he was bidding goodbyes to the future sons and daughters and the following grandchildren he would never have.

**AN: **And here he is! The dead man himself!


End file.
